Why "Hi" isn't enough
A one-word opener gives the other person nothing to reply to.
A message that shows you've actually read their profile stands out straight away, and it's much easier to answer.
Start with their profile
Pick one thing they've shared and ask about it with an open question.
- Instead of "You travel?", try "That beach in your photos looks amazing. Where was it?"
- Instead of "Nice photo", try "You look like you were having a great time there. What was the occasion?"
- Instead of "You like cooking?", try "What's your signature dish? I'm always looking for ideas."
Keep the age gap in perspective
You're both here because you're open to it, so there's no need to lead with it.
Talk to the person, not their age. A compliment on their photos is fine; a comment about how old or young they look usually isn't.
Questions that work for almost anyone
- What's been the best part of your week so far?
- What's something you're looking forward to this year?
- What are you hoping to find on here? It's a great question for knowing where you stand early on.
Keep it going
- Share as well as ask. Answer your own question too.
- A little flirting is fine, but keep it friendly and let it build both ways.
- Reply when you can. Members who reliably reply earn the Anti-Ghosting badge. Read what the badges mean.
- Suggest meeting when it feels right. Our first date ideas can help.